I turned 48 yesterday, and as you might imagine at a time like this, I’ve got a lot on my mind as I journey through the midpoint of my life.
For instance, how will I send my son to college? Will I ever be able to retire? Will there be peace in my lifetime? Will I ever lose that Freshman 15? (Granted, it’s been 30 years since I was a freshman, but I remain hopeful.)
Also weighing heavily on my mind is Ben Grimm.
Ian went to DragonCon a few months ago and, nice guy that he is, brought me 
back a copy of Ultimate Fantastic Four Vol. I. I wasn’t that up on the FF, but I loved the story and learning about their origins. Just one thing continues to nag at me and that’s Ben Grimm.
OK, just consider this: Reed, Sue and Johnny are playing with some serious physics stuff — the kind you don’t learn in public high school — when Grimm comes to visit his old pal Reed. Through no fault of his, the whole project goes to hell and he ends up as Thing.
And that’s it. He’s Thing. Have you ever
stopped to consider the injustice? Reed gets all elastic-like, but when he’s not a human piece of gum, he a relatively normal-looking guy. Johnny gets to go up in flames at will, but when he’s not a hottie of a whole different kind, he’s gets to be the good-looking rogue. And Sue gets to be invisible. Then, when she’s not invisible, she’s the nauseatingly cute-as-a-button girl next door.
Grimm gets superpowers too. And when he’s not a big, powerful, hulking pile of rocks, he’s … a big, powerful, hulking pile of rocks. He never gets to look like a normal guy again. It’s just so frustratingly unfair. And it has been bothering me ever since I finished that FF trade.
It kind of reminds me of the Charlie Brown episode from Halloween. You know the one:
So what do I take from all of this? Ben Grimm is the Charlie Brown of the 
superhero world. He’s the one who gets the rock. I’m just waiting for the issue when Sue invites him to kick a football.
And I, having a soft spot for the underdog, feel bad for Grimm, just as I do for Charlie Brown. Let’s face it. Charlie
Brown is a downer as far as comics go.
Recently my LCS had 75 percent off back issues, so I bought a bunch of old, really cool, collectible Fantastic Fours at an excellent price. Really, it’s the least I could do for old Grimm.
That’s part of ol’ Benjie’s appeal. He was originally written like a jerk, but (along with Spider-Man) he’s probably one of the friendliest and nicest guys in the Marvel U. FF comics don’t seem to do it for me, but I prefer the Thing’s old “Marvel Two-in-One” series. Those will never be collectible, but they’re a great reading value.
Ben’s also the master of comic book slang language. A letterer’s nightmare, as his speech is typically full of words like: musta’, whadda’, fer’ the luv’ a’ and other stuff.
His fate got sealed by the Four Elements theme, with Earth being perceived as the most stable and unmutable element of the four.
That makes me feel much better about the whole thing!
The Thing has always “Ben” one of my favorite characters. But what I’d really like to say is, “Happy 48th”!
And, of course there will be peace! …as long as we do what they tell us to do.
Which, unfortunately. Means trashing all of our comic books and reading only “Approved” materials. And I don’t mean by the “Comics Code”. So no, I guess there will Never be any peace.
BTW: I tried the retirement gig. And believe me, you Don’t want to go down that road. Extended Vacations? Sure! Take all you need. But never, Ever, retire.
You’re are so right! All he got was a %$#@ rock!
Plus, Thing got his football taken away many times. In the Lee/Kirby days, he was transformed to normal, only to have to transform back to save the world. Later, after the Secret Wars of 1980s, he finds out from Reed that he always had the power to transform to normal but, OOPS, he finds this out after he kills his Ben Grimm side. Recently, Mark Millar took the football away when the results of altering time to never be the (Ultimate) Thing turn out to be the Skrulls totally wiping out humanity.
How’s that for a major downer?